Posted: Thursday, August 31st, 2017 at 7:00am 

At Fix Radio there isn’t much we haven’t seen. But, recently we found ourselves in conversation with one of our listeners about Gus the chainsaw – don’t ask us how we got onto the topic of a gigantic chainsaw we’re not sure either. Anywho it got us thinking about the weirdest tools in existence – and we decided it was about time the bastard file and the gigantic pipe wrench got the recognition they deserved. So continue reading for our top five weird tools you don’t see every day.

1. Bastard file 

You are correct, dear reader, this tool is in our list because it contains a naughty word. And yes we know precisely how immature that makes us sound and no we don’t overly care. A bastard file is a file that is used for blade sharpening, named as it is because no one really knows who the hell invented it. Somewhere between a coarse and a second-cut file, if we are totally honest your toolbox will probably be totally fine without it. But, the bigger question is – is your life really as full if you can’t ask for your bastard file every once in a while? No.

2. Pocket chisel

For those moments when you really have a desperate need to do some chiseling, but can’t carry around the ever so slightly dangerous-looking and accident-waiting-to-happen real thing around, the pocket chisel is on hand for all your chiseling emergencies. This unique model comes equipped with a protective casing around the sharp edging, which means you can keep it in your pocket without risking your own skin. A word of warning though - we still wouldn’t take it to the airport – we don’t see that ending well.

3. A gigantic pipe wrench 

Whilst most pipe wrenches are somewhere between 6 and 10 inches, gigantic pipe wrenches are somewhere around the 48 inch mark. Now, whilst we assume that most of you are familiar with tape measures and inches (because you’re in construction you dirty minded lot), we’re here to tell you that it’s pretty bloody huge. 

4. Big Gus chainsaw

We suspect Big Gus was perhaps invented by someone who was all too familiar with inches and quite possibly his own shortcomings, because Big Gus is quite possibly the most useless, and yet most fantastic tool ever created. The world’s largest chainsaw coming in a whopping 23 feet machine and powered by V-8 engines, this machine has yet to actually cut down a tree, but we rather like the idea that it could.

5. Knee blades 

We actually think these should be used far more than they are. We’ve all been there – kneeling down on the floor can really take its toll. Suffering from burns and rubs, it is not a particularly pleasant sensation and whilst knee pads can be rather helpful, they don’t help us move around, which is really what we all need. This is where knee blades come in – not only do they protect our precious needs, but thanks to their wheels they also help us get around. Win win. 

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