Nailed It: Hilarious Construction Jokes to Survive the Shift

The 1st of July marks National Joke Day and there’s plenty for tradies to enjoy.

Every year, we celebrate National Joke Day, which marks a chance to tell some terrible puns and release some of that stress. This year, we thought we’d share some of our favourite jokes surrounding the construction trade. 

While some of them are downright terrible, at the very least, you might get a wry smile on site when you retell them! Let us know your best industry jokes in the comments section below. 

I told my carpenter I didn't want carpeted steps. He just gave me a blank stair.

The construction worker was discharged after being accused of murder. There just wasn't any concrete evidence.

Which kind of construction are dogs best at? Roofing.

I used to be a drill operator… but it was boring.

Marble is a valuable building material and should not be taken for granite.

What music do builders love listening to? The Carpenters.

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site… but when I got home, all the signs were there.

What do construction workers and cheating spouses have in common? They’re both home wreckers.

I was offered a construction job in Egypt this morning. Turned out to be a pyramid scheme. 

My dad thought he made a good construction joke. Unfortunately, there was absolutely no build-up.

Two labourers are walking up and down the motorway, one of them carrying a shovel. Traffic’s stuck at a crawl, so more than one confused motorist watches as the first labourer digs a hole and passes the shovel to his mate, who immediately fills it back in. Finally, someone winds down the window to ask what on Earth they’re doing, and the first labourer shouts back, “the guy who plants the trees called in sick today!”